EQ Thinking for Self Management
Normally, people don’t realise the complexity of a policeman’s job. At one end he is expected to be soft and kind with public, and at the other end he has to be tough and demanding with the criminals. During the day he needs a tone of voice that can reverberate through the building and that same evening it has to be affectionate to the family. A man in the armed forces is training to kill; a policeman is trained to save. So he has to be swift, without being impulsive. A policeman’s job is to deal with a lot of dichotomies.
A thermostat is set to a temperature, which it regulates. The mercury level in a thermometer rises with a rise in temperature. Every human being can be like a thermostat, setting his standards with values and principles and regulate the happenings of his life. Else, he can be athermometer and succumb to the vagaries of life.
It is not enough to plant the seeds; we also have to remove the weeds. We have to teach man not only to be positive but also to beat the negative. We are what we are because of our strengths. But we are not what we could be because of our weaknesses. While conditioning is unconscious training, training is conscious conditioning. In all our training, we have ignorantly ignored the other side of man.
The concept, framework and technique of Equilibrium Thinking:
‘Equilibrium Thinking’ was developed to transform attitudes of police and the public.Equilibrium Thinking emphasizes the BALANCE, between Positive and Negative emotions, that one has to strive and develop to truly conquer his mind and create reality out of his thoughts. It is a new thinking for the millennium which combines age old universal values relevant to modern living. The objectives of ET are self-realisation, self-development, stress-management, self-awareness, management of anger, aggression and the management of self for happiness and excellence.
HOW IS IT THE KEY TO RE-ENGINEERING YOURSELF?
Current success literature talks only of the power of positive thinking but mere positive thinking does not generate sufficient power to overcome the challenge of ingrained negative attitudes and habits, forces, and values. Mere positive thinking does not produce an equilibrium that comes from a habit of self realisation. Mere positive thinking does not accede to the reality of human life.
Equilibrium is produced when the positive is affirmed and reinforced, and the negative is denied, weakened and uprooted. Ships have anchors and doors have hinges but the human mind which is far more powerful and dynamic has neither anchor nor hinge either to stop and pause or to move on.The prime statement of EQ thinking “BE AT IT TO BEAT IT” is unique, powerful and a kind of soul pulse. It cannot be replicated in any other language to convey so deep a meaning in so simple a way. It is a kind of a mission statement for the human being, to connect to what he should be and what he ought to overcome. For example, ‘Be Calm, Beat Anger’; ‘Be loving, Beat hatred’. Attitude being nothing but a habit of thought, by consistently repeating these auto commands with one’s mind and heart, one can create a sense of equilibrium within oneself.”Be” happens only when beliefs converge into thoughts and thoughts into feelings and feelings into actions. “Beat” happens when one believes he can overcome, sets a goal to defeat, eliminate, reduce. He sets a goal say to beat anger. He thinks of how to overcome his anger, reduce the anger level, change the ways he expresses it. He feels the need to beat anger and takes steps to beat it. He feels and acts as if he has beaten anger.
A five second mental intervention like: be strong, beat weakness; be joyful, beat depression, be calm, beat anger can prevent several life threatening situations.
Seven billion people on the earth may speak different languages but the primary binary language they speak is in terms of ‘Yes’ and ‘No’. The ‘Yeses’ and ‘Nos’ are used like on/off switches. Eqthinking uses this primary binary language to build strengths and overcome inherent weaknesses.
EQUILIBRIUM THINKING Advantages:
It enables one to be proactive- to bring one’s moods under the control of his long-term values and goals. It enables one to work on oneself, his psyche, his emotions, his expressions, thoughts, feelings, actions and reactions. It enables one to connect within oneself and also to stay in sync with the environment. It disciplines the mind and creates a sense of well being. The advantage of “Be At It to Beat It” is that we have our character objectives before us continuously. The more we hold character objectives before us, the more they become part of our nature as character attributes. So the system reinforces the character ethic.
Eqthinking is an all-weather Thought Process. To drive a person to success one needs a Thought Process to boost esteem, confidence, motivation, persistence and perseverance. Eqthinking is just such a Thought Process. To sustain one in failure and repeated failure, one needs a Thought Process. Eqthinking is just such a Thought Process. To lead others, a team, one needs a Thought Process. Eqthinking meets that need. To plough through loneliness and desertion by others, one needs a Thought Process. Eqthinking serves that need. To relate to all kinds of people one needs a Thought Process. Eqthinking equips us to deal with difficult people as well as all and sundry. One needs a Thought Process to deal with both strengths and weaknesses. Eqthinking equally deals with both. One needs a Thought Process to solve problems and face life’s challenges. Eqthinking enables us to be creative in our response to these challenges. One needs a Thought Process to deal with boredom, with normal times when nothing seems to be happening. Eqthinking meets such need too. One needs a Thought Process to improve decision making. Eqthinking is just such a Thought Process. One needs a Thought Process to tame or modulate our emotions and reactions. Eqthinking is a Thought Process that regulates emotions. One needs a Thought Process that will strengthen will power or the ability to act. Eqthinking does just that. One needs a Thought Process that develops attitudes over time. Eqthinking removes negative attitudes and enhances the positive ones. One needs a Thought Process that is simple and yet comprehensive. Eqthinking is precisely simple and comprehensive. It is a round the clock or anytime Thought Process. It is compatible with the way the human body, mind and spirit are structured and work. In short, it is the key that has eluded psychologists, therapists, leaders, managers and teachers hitherto.
The concept of the complementary opposite:
The end result will be good or bad depending on whether the process is good or bad. Eqthinking is a holistic thought process and as you practice this process the end results will be bound to be good.
The Eqthinking binary commands for instance, “be calm, beat anger” has four components of emotional competency of Attitude, Skill, Knowledge- Habit implying that calmness is both an attitude, a skill in learning the techniques of staying calm despite provocations or stimuli and it is based on knowledge that calmness has better results and effects on human health, productivity, decision making, relationships. The command is repeated till the attitude, skill, knowledge are ingrained as habit in one.
PRACTISING EQ THINKING – THE IMPACT:
When I gave the audio DVD of Eqthinking to the late Former President Dr APJ Abdul Kalam, he enthusiastically said, “I will hear it now.” He heard it and said, “This is excellent as for success in life there should be a rhythm and in your concept I find that rhythm. It is rhythmic thinking.” Former President Abdul Kalam was asked by me when he said,” This is an excellent thought process.” “Why do you say so?” He replied, “In life and nature there are certain rhythms for success and effectiveness and that rhythm is there in Eqthinking.”
A company secretary was short tempered, irritable and difficult to please. He learnt about eqthinking. Thought that it was too simple to work but he anyway told himself he would try it during his daily twenty minute walk in a park. He used the binary commands: be calm, beat tension; be relaxed, beat stress; be contented, beat dissatisfaction. He repeated internally these binary commands coordinating with the binary movement of his feet. He experienced change within a few weeks and continued to be an eqthinker.
A young student was afraid of staying alone or to go out in the dark. Her aunt taught her to apply eqthinking. She used the binary eqthinking commands: be bold, beat fear; be strong, beat weakness; be courageous, beat fear. Over a period of weeks, she overcame her phobia and went on to be confident and successful.
Each of the 100 who attended my workshop on eqthinking used the tools differently to overcome issues they were facing or were ignoring till then. One of the sales managers had low self-esteem or self-belief and would give up trying with potential clients quite quickly. After learning eqthinking, he used the binary commands: be persistent, beat giving up; be positive, beat negative; be confident, beat failure. His success rate zoomed up phenomenally in the weeks that followed as he was led to try more and get better each time he made an attempt.